Space Hotel

Space hotel to give rich a thrill that's out of this world: Russian aerospace engineers join race to provide wealthy thrill-seekers with the ultimate holiday destination
(From The Guardian)

Mark's Hotel Review: 1/5 stars

When I saw this hotel advertised in the brochure it sounded wonderful: I could get away from the mundane life here and hang out with the stars! Well, after a long and arduous journey (public transport in the area is non-existant to say the least) I arrived. From the outside the hotel was clean. There was no graffiti, no mess on the streets, in fact, no streets! I felt a twinge of doubt about the lack of people in the area, it was somewhat creepy, the place was devoid of life!

The room I was staying in was comfortable, and I certainly felt a weight off my shoulders at having arrived and being away from the gravity of everyday life. The bedroom and facilities were remarkably clean, but that was hardly surprising: the cleaners would not have had much work to do as both rooms were tiny. Another negative was the décor. They had made the place to look like a space ship, so 1970's, so dated!

The view from the hotel was indeed stunning. Still, looks can be decieving. The surrounding area was inhospitable to say the least. When I asked the staff on duty if there were any cafés or museums around that they recommend they looked at me incredulously. Further, when I told them I was going outside to have a look around, I was told that I would not last long out there alive! Imagine being told that by the receptionist! Needless to say I was too scared to leave the building the entirety of my stay.

Resigning myself to my fate I decided to check out the resturant. Again, it was small, and the same weird space ship decoration was still in evidence there. The selection of drinks was particularly limited and (there is no polite way to put this) half the time it was as if I was drinking recycled urine! Also, the food was all reheated, as if even the staff didn't dare a trip out for fresh vegetables (perhaps even vegetables wouldn't last long around there and, thinking about it now, I don't remember seeing a single tree the whole time!).

Needless to say the hotel did not have a swimming pool, which is a great shame, as the weather was perfect all week. I was just glad to have bought enough to read: I had recently been getting into science fiction and had taken out several books from the library before I left. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to be in space, quite fun I imagine, certainly better than that small hotel in the middle of nowhere! One out of five, a poor place for a holiday, stay away!

------oo------

So hope you enjoyed my review! Sorry for the long time between posts these days, but there is so much to be doing in the world! At some time I intend to put up some photos of my time in Romania, but it may be a while yet!
Regarding my actual views on space hotels, I am actually in great favour for. Not the hotel per se, but rather that technology is still developed in that direction.
I understand the argument that there are people not being fed enough down here to be wasting money up there. However, it doesn't work like that, it isn't that simple. The people doing this are not choosing between feeding the poor and going into space, they are choosing between building the worlds tallest building or such like and doing this. Besides, it is entirely possible to reduce world hunger and have an active space program.
And it is never just about space hotels, it is about learning how better to take stuff into space, how better to live and carry out experiments in space, about how to overcome huge technological feats. This technology all comes in useful. In a way this is a brilliant plan to save money. Instead of paying to build the rockets and the space centres, and paying the astronauts to go there, you get the astronauts to pay for project and to pay for the privilege of going!
Why do I think it is important to go into space? Well why is it important to explore new areas on the map, or to see how silicon conducts electricity? I think it is the same thing: because you might find something that changes life for the better such as new places to live, new ways to connect to others, new possibilities, things you cannot even imagine until you do the exploration.
There is another rather interesting thing to consider about space travel: for the majority of this planet's existence it has been uninhabitable, and not just at the start. Fairly often most of it is covered in ice, quite often masses of volcanoes trash the atmosphere and plant life all but vanishes. We just don't notice this because we are like mayflies, we live for a day, not even! Our stories that have been passed on for the longest still only tell us about what happened a week ago. Get some perspective - ask a mountain!

So long, and thanks for all the fish...
Mark

Stories Within Stories

Nostralis

By Mark Jack

Prop, of the Klimba people, sat on a small ledge at the base of a huge tree trunk. He sucked on some pieces of bark as he stared out across the valley, idly listening to the chatter drifting up towards him. Of all the Klimba people he personified what was most disliked by those of the valley. He spurned the depths, the God-warmth, the highly regulated life, and instead followed his joy in the hills and on the trees.

The joy was only ever partial though. All too often the sharp edge of the machines swept through the land, tearing through tree and often ground. There was little protection to be found on this denuded landscape, and strong winds and heavy rain ravaged the land. His people, and all the many races, survived by hiding in whatever nook or cranny they could find.

At times it would seem that the machines had forgotten about this world. The stumps of trees up on the hills would begin to grow, striving upwards towards some unknown and futile goal. But perhaps then a flood would come, and not long after, while the moisture still clung to the trunks of the still young trees the machines would strike.

To Prop it seemed that the floods were coming less often these days and the trees were growing taller than he could remember. He pondered amongst his many selves if the two things were related. The bark of the tree around him still glistened with moisture and he wondered if the machines would strike now.

As if to mirror his thoughts messages from the Order came through that the machines were coming and that all beings were to cling to their God. The Order lived in the deepest parts of the valleys, where the God-warmth was felt the strongest. It was they who sent out the messages that guided how all may live and kept the civilisation running smoothly in the face of these difficult times. It was also from whom, while never explicitly stated, that the deep prejudice against the Klimba came. Of course they never said things like 'dump your waste up in the Klimba's region', or 'don't trade with them, they are inferior, ungodly, and should be despised', but they did say things like 'God is warmth, God is in the depths, and all who are good and pure strive to be closest to him.', and that seemed to be enough.

The message coming from the Order now caused barely a ripple in Prop. Sometimes they did hold power over him, when they were on the winning side of the conflict within him. Certainly if he climbed higher they did cause him to doubt and to turn back, but now he wasn't that high.

He thought of all the others running into their holes, to cling to the ground and God-warmth. Down in the valley the other races spent most of their time that way, so he heard.

Of course Prop had never seen those places, the Klimba people were shunned, not only that but he felt uncomfortable in the warmth. He shuddered at the thought, for, as the Order said 'Be not like those who live high, for they shall fall off into the sky and be damned'. Well, he hadn't yet fallen off into the sky, despite many close brushes with the machines. Many a Klimba had shown startled surprised to see him sat, gloomily perhaps, but alive, on a flattened stump of a tree that was until a short time before his playground.

Prop also knew from all he heard that he would never see the Heavenly Kingdom beyond the farthest hills. It was said that there no storms could reach, that nectar flowed rich and the gentle warmth of God wafted softly over all. Try as he might Prop couldn't bring himself to feel upset about that: yes the food sounded good, but the warmth didn't, and he quite liked a mild storm from time to time. Perhaps he could dwell in the entrance to the Kingdom he mused, and get others to pass him food. But he was damned no doubt, for he lived high and it was where he seemed to fit best.

Something certainly felt missing from his life, perhaps his people were cursed. If any did try and live in the warmth of the valleys they tended to dwindle and die. Even up here on the hills disease was rife. It seemed more than the segregation could account for.

Another message came from the Order, stronger, more insistent: people must cling to their God, the machines are surely imminent. Prop inwardly sighed and slid of his ledge, the ground was several handholds away but he moved with ease. The usual throng of beings that was the norm he only found as he moved in between outcroppings and into the crevasses and wide spaces beneath the surface.

Even here on the hillside he found the warmth too much and started to feel lethargic. He found a damp and slightly cooler hole in one of the walls and molded himself into it. He fell into a slumber, but as he did his consciousness drifted out and he vaguely felt the goings on around him.

He felt the trees growing taller, the Order sending out messages of the machines coming, the anxiety building throughout land. He dreamt of huge caverns, warm and dark, of bursts of huge energy shooting along impossible distances, of power that made him shake in his sleep and push deeper into his hole. He felt the trees still growing, heard the Order speak of disloyalty to God, of being tested, of how the machines were coming. He sensed people growing hungry and fretful.

He awoke later to a buzz of messages, people had been to the surface and were babbling about a great change. The Order were sending rapid, loud messages, but they sounded erratic, contradictory. One message came through loud and clear though, no one was to climb the trees, for that was the stairway to damnation. Prop was confused, there should be no trees now. He sped towards the surface, and was stunned.

The trees were growing up at dizzying heights, blocking out parts of the sky. The wind and rains they had known of the storms were now softened and there was a great quiet over the surface. But more than all that the presence of God could be felt more strongly everywhere; His warmth filled the air.

The excitement grew in Prop, but the warmth suffocated him. Something deep within him wanted to climb. He clambered over and through those around him to get to the base of tree. One of his arms reached and gripped it. Messages came from the Order that up in the trees was the way to oblivion, that no one was to touch the trees. The message rang false and Prop reached for more handholds. The voices around him shouted that he stay, voices gathered over the years within him told him to stay, but they rang true neither. With doubt he started to climb, amongst himself he questioned the voices, weakening the doubt. Around him the shouting to stay grew stronger, but arm after arm of his reached up and pulled. Slowly at first did he reach the holds but then faster and faster. He found his rhythm and grace, and his love of the tree and the climb grew. The voices below and within quietened and with the cooling of the air peace grew within and around him. He sucked in the freshness. Those of him with longer and stronger arms thrived. The tree provided him with nutrients he had barely known before and he grew way beyond what would have been recognisable as him before.

Time passed and still he climbed. Between him and the tree was joy, they spun together in a dance; he leapt for a hold while the tree came to meet him in perfect union. He swarmed around and up. Along the tree some of him found places to settle, having found their peace with life. But still part of him climbed.

It was some time later, after days of the climb had past, that Prop entered a crevasse that was dark and jagged. He worked his way upwards, groping in the dark but ever moving. Before long he saw far above him light coming through a long narrow crack. He quickened his pace. Soon he was clambering over the top ledge into the blinding light. When he adjusted to the light he found himself on a flat plateau on the top of the tree. He recognised it as a place he had sat once, sad. Now he looked about and a thrill took him. Over the twisting tops of the trees about him, looming huge on the horizon, he stared, fixated, into the twin caverns of Nostralis, the Heaven of his people.

Or, to put it a different way,
I now have a beard and moustache!


Well, I hope you liked it! I apologise as it is probably a bit late for this story, as me having facial hair is old news to a lot of you, and I am going to cut it off in a couple of weeks anyway – the weather is warming up and it also makes licking food off my plate more difficult!

I have had a few sources of inspiration for this story. Perhaps Carpet People by Terry Pratchett was one of the first, later my ponderings on Gaian Theory and later still a somewhat bizarre and humorous conversation I had with a fellow trainee in a Zen monastery when we pondered what religious faith the cells of my body held towards me their God! Recently I came across this fun and thought provoking poem by W. H. Auden, which hopefully I am not breaking any copyright laws by posting here...

A New Year Greeting
by W.H. Auden

After an article by Mary J. Marples
in Scientific American, January, 1969

On this day tradition allots
to taking stock of our lives,
my greetings to all of you, Yeasts,
Bacteria, Viruses,
Aerobics and Anaerobics:
A Very Happy New Year
to all for whom my ectoderm
is as Middle-Earth to me.

For creatures your size I offer
a free choice of habitat,
so settle yourselves in the zone
that suits you best, in the pools
of my pores or the tropical
forests of arm-pit and crotch,
in the deserts of my fore-arms,
or the cool woods of my scalp.

Build colonies: I will supply
adequate warmth and moisture,
the sebum and lipids you need,
on condition you never
do me annoy with your presence,
but behave as good guests should,
not rioting into acne
or athlete’s-foot or a boil.

Does my inner weather affect
the surfaces where you live?
Do unpredictable changes
record my rocketing plunge
from fairs when the mind is in tift
and relevant thoughts occur
to fouls when nothing will happen
and no one calls and it rains.

I should like to think that I make
a not impossible world,
but an Eden it cannot be:
my games, my purposive acts,
may turn to catastrophes there.
If you were religious folk,
how would your dramas justify
unmerited suffering?

By what myths would your priests account
for the hurricanes that come
twice every twenty-four hours,
each time I dress or undress,
when, clinging to keratin rafts,
whole cities are swept away
to perish in space, or the Flood
that scalds to death when I bathe?

Then, sooner or later, will dawn
a Day of Apocalypse,
when my mantle suddenly turns
too cold, too rancid, for you,
appetising to predators
of a fiercer sort, and I
am stripped of excuse and nimbus,
a Past, subject to Judgement.

Give a man a fish...

There is a proverb that gets used quite often, especially in relation to charities helping poor countries...

'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime'.

Well for a long time I have disliked that quote, for a start it shows arrogance on the part of the would-be teacher, who seems to be assuming that those that are hungry are so because they are not as cleaver as we. Of course that isn't always the case, and often it is valuable to share skills. But, and this may be the cynic in me, I also dislike it because it doesn't seem to match up well with some of my understanding of how things are and it ignores some fundamental issues. My version of the quote would be...

'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, try and teach him to fish and he will tell you "don't be stupid, I know how to fish, but the fish in the sea have been wiped out due to overfishing by the west, the smaller rivers are drying up due to climate change, and the larger river is polluted because of a factory upstream owned by a western corporation"'

Well today Andy Zaltsman provided me with a new version (on BBC iPlayer currently)...

"Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, but lease him a fishing rod and he will feed you cut-price fish for a life time, and that is a competitively priced labour market you have got there! Plus since you own the rod he better fish and fish hard, otherwise you can take his rod away, no rod means no wages and no wages means no imported tinned fish, which is now all he and his family can afford to eat!"

It seems to me that people, globally, often are not poor because of random chance or due to a lack of effort on their own part, rather, that people are poor largely because we have created a world that requires some to be poor so that others can be rich. This does imply a power to be able to create things differently though.

Thanks for reading!
Mark

P.S. Terry Pratchett has a rather humorous adaptation of this quote 'give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life!'

Dr Seuss's Copenhagen by Marcus Brigstocke

An awesome rhyme about the Copenhagen climate summit from the Now Show...

Dr Seuss's Copenhagen by Marcus Brigstocke

The delegates came and the delegates sat
And they talked and they talked till their bums all went flat
Then a delegate said of the country he knew
"We must do something quick but just what should we do?"
So they sat again thinking and there they stayed seated
Sitting and thinking "the planet's been heated"
"I think" said a delegate there from Peru
"That we all must agree on some things we could do
Like reducing emissions at least CO2"
So they nodded and noted then vetoed and voted
And one of them stood up and suddenly quoted
"It's the science you see, that's the thing that must guide us
When the leaders all get here they're certain to chide us"
So they sat again thinking about what to think
Then decided to ponder what colour of ink
To use on the paper when they’d all agreed
To be selfless not greedy McGreedy McGreed
"But how do we choose just what colour to use?"
Said a delegate there who'd been having a snooze
"We need clear binding targets definitive action
We must all agree clearly without more distraction"
So they sat again thinking of targets for ink
But the ink in their thinking had started to stink
And they started to think that the ink was a kink
In the thinking about real things they should think
"If ze climate needs mending then zis is our chance"
Said the nuclear delegate sent there by France
"We need to agree on one thing to agree on
Something we all want a fixed guarantee on"
"Yes" said another who thought this made sense
Some value for carbon in dollars or pence
But the mention of money and thoughts of expense
Had stifled the progress and things became tense
The fella from China with a smile on his face
Said "Who put the carbon there in the first place?"
"Wasn't us" said the U.S then Europe did too
Then a silence descended and no words were spoken
Till a delegate stood up, voice nervous and broken
"Is there nothing upon which we all can decide?
Because on Wednesday my chicken laid eggs that were fried"
"We all like a sing song" said the bloke from Down Under
But then the great hall was all shouting and thunder
Policemen had entered and were wearing protesters
Who they'd beaten and flattened like bloodied sou'westers
The police had decided to downplay this crime
With prevention detention and beatings in rhyme
The Greenies who'd shouted and asked for a decision
Were now being battered with lethal precision
All sick of inaction and fed up of waiting
All tired of the endless debated placating
They'd risen up grating berating and hating
So the police had commenced the related abating
Ban Ki-moon put his head in another man's lap
And was last heard muttering something like "crap"
But the chap next to him said "It's more like it's poo"
So the great hall debated not what they should do
But how to decide between crap cack and poo
"It is poo" "It is cack" "It is crap" "We agree"
Which was written and labelled as document three
"I think if we all find one thing we agree on
Then maybe Brazil might be left with a tree on"
So they sat again thinking of trees and Brazil
And of glaciers which had retreated uphill
And they thought of the poor folks whose homes were in flood
But less of the protesters covered in blood
They pondered the species so nearly extinct
It's as if they all thought that these things might be linked
"We need a solution we need action please"
Said a lady who'd come from the sinking Maldives
The others all nodded and said it was fact
That the time must be now not to talk but to act
Then Obama arrived and said most rhetorical
"Action is action and not metaphorical"
"Wow" they all thought "he must mean allegorical"
"I love it when Barack goes all oratorical"
"But the problem I have is that Congress won’t pass it
"Bugger" said Ban Ki then "sorry" then "arse it"
Then Brown said "I've got it now how does this strike you?
It's simpler when voters already dislike you"
He suggested the EU should lead from the front
So The Mail and The Telegraph called him something very unpleasant indeed
So the delegates stared at the text with red marks on
Ignoring the gales of laughter from Clarkson
No-one was satisfied nobody won
Except the morons convinced it was really the sun
And they blew it and wasted the greatest of chances
Instead they all frolicked in diplomat dances
And decided decisively right there and then
That the best way to solve it's to meet up again
And decide on a future that's greener and greater
Not with action right now but with something else later

Where the TV Should Go

In five months I will leave the uni I am at behind and so with it the student house I now occupy. This means that at the moment our landlord keeps showing triplets of little students around.

So today as I was chopping vegetables in the kitchen I heard a voice from the other room:

"That is where the TV should go"

Amazing! The student didn't say "that is where a TV COULD go", it was definitely "that is where the TV SHOULD go". As if there was a TV shaped hole in the universe that quite obviously needed filling, that the idea of it not being filled was something that could not be comprehended. The universe would be right again when the TV was properly instated.

Wow!

In the words of Einstein: "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"

Anyway, walking back up to my room, soup simmering nicely, it occurred to me I could do a little product placement in my own house, see if I could influence the subconscious of all the visitors! I put some extra herbs on top of my soup so the house smelled nicely of herbs and good food cooking, rearranged my organic veg box so the name and the 'organic' showed, positioned some good books so the titles could be seen, had some of my camping equipment partially on show so it would give the impression of activeness, had the title of my blog up on my laptop. If I had had more time I could have made posters with subtle subconscious cues in them, hey I could even have had music playing with very subtle background words. Ah but I must resist the dark side!

But after all it wouldn't work - we have no TV! All I would do would be clouded by that aberration of nature!

Time monster

Recently I am forced to postulate the existence of a new creature. It is quite a large creature, just a little smaller than your average cow, although it manages to fit into fairly small spaces such as a person's bedroom. It manages to remain quite hidden, but if you could see it, you would see it is quite stocky, like a softer and more flabby hippopotamus, and has a long snout that flares at the end, a bit like an aardvarks snout, but much bigger.

The reason why I'm convinced of its existence is that there is one following me around; I know this because it is using its snout to suck up time, my time. This animal that we are dealing with is in fact a Time Monster (Monasteriense vicis). I do not believe this is an unusual case either, you too may be a victim.

I believe our uni library may be a breading ground for these creatures: you walk in there in search of a few books and several hours get sucked up, leaving you wondering home in the dark, feeling slightly dazed and a little sick with only a handful of books to account for your time. It would seem these animals will follow a person back to their place of residence where they will make themselves quite comfortable in the person's room. It would appear that here they can make night time pass more quickly, meaning you have to sleep for longer and wake up late. They seem technology savvy and can manipulate computers to their advantage, with them being so familiar with the Internet as to make me consider whether part of their existence is in fact a part of cyberspace.

There is though one place were these creature appear not to be able to tread...

A place where time is felt in its entirety...

Lectures!

If only I could train these animals!

Harvard referencing for pubs

As many readers are no doubt aware, vast quantities of insightful information is often obtained whilst in a pub. Sadly however, this information is generally not regarded as reaching high academic standards and often information is not properly attributed to rightful author (often being just vaguely attributed to 'the lads'). In order to clear up confusion and to reinstate pub gained information to its rightful place the current author has produced the following suggestions as to how the Harvard referencing system could be used for benefit.

Referencing one author (male)

Important information to include is the author, the year it was said, the title of the revelation, the pub where it was stated, and the amount of alcohol the author had consumed. An example follows.

In text reference:
My mate Bob (2006) said that the government is making cows fart more to stop global warming

End text reference:
Bob (2006) You know wot mate, wot that them gover, govermunt doin bout clum clum climate thingy. Queen's Head pub: 7 Pints

Referencing two authors (male)

This is done in the same way as above, but including both authors

In text reference:
Last week I was having a drink with my mates and they said that immigrants are stealing all the trees (Bob and Shad, 2007)

End text reference:
Bob and Shad (2007) Them bluddy foreigners. The King's Arms Pub: 6 pints, 7 shots of Whiskey (total)

Referencing more that two authors

Often the knowledge gained at a pub will be the result of the efforts of several person and much alcohol. Often it is not clear who was actually present at the time and so for referencing this type of information the expression 'the lads' can be used instead of names. An example will be given

In text reference:
I was down the pub last week and the lads (2008) decided that football would solve world hunger because everyone would stop fighting and eat more hot dogs.

End text reference:
The lads (2008) Did you see the match? The Harvester pub: 17 pints (total)

Referencing female authors

Although times are changing, women, though often admired and talked about, can often not be included in conversation in a typical pub and lager environment. They can be included at times through them being in a relationship with one of 'the lads' present. An example of how they are referenced is given below.

In text reference:
Although some present reckoned that America should declare war on all Muslim countries my mate Bob's missus said that that is was a really stupid idea showing both needless cruelty, a lack of understand and respect for different cultures, and an emotional and mental intelligence of an angry wasp

End text reference:
Bob's missus (2008) Bob you're drunk and you're talking crap. The dog and Bear pub: 1 glass of white wine

Secondary referencing

Although often cited as a reliable source, being often revered as the fount of absolute knowledge, the Daily Mail (often referred to as just 'The Mail') is about as reliable as the average drunk person and by being quoted by a drunk person it is often distorted even further; time and effort is saved by merely referencing the drunk. An example is given below.

In text reference:
It must be true that Britain is being destroyed by allowing all these foreign doctors and nurses into the country, i read it in the mail (cited by Mat, 2006)

End text reference:
Mat (2006) I don't trust the lot of them. The Curry House: 5 pints, 3 whiskeys and five bottles of some strange fluorescent blue stuff.

A final note from the author

If you have any suggestions in the furthering of this important cause, please do not hesitate to leave a comment below. It is the sincerest wish of the author that information gained from 'the lads' or from 'my mate bob wot knows this stuff' receives the full attention it is worth. It is left to the reader to decide how much that is.

Mark