Harvard referencing for pubs

As many readers are no doubt aware, vast quantities of insightful information is often obtained whilst in a pub. Sadly however, this information is generally not regarded as reaching high academic standards and often information is not properly attributed to rightful author (often being just vaguely attributed to 'the lads'). In order to clear up confusion and to reinstate pub gained information to its rightful place the current author has produced the following suggestions as to how the Harvard referencing system could be used for benefit.

Referencing one author (male)

Important information to include is the author, the year it was said, the title of the revelation, the pub where it was stated, and the amount of alcohol the author had consumed. An example follows.

In text reference:
My mate Bob (2006) said that the government is making cows fart more to stop global warming

End text reference:
Bob (2006) You know wot mate, wot that them gover, govermunt doin bout clum clum climate thingy. Queen's Head pub: 7 Pints

Referencing two authors (male)

This is done in the same way as above, but including both authors

In text reference:
Last week I was having a drink with my mates and they said that immigrants are stealing all the trees (Bob and Shad, 2007)

End text reference:
Bob and Shad (2007) Them bluddy foreigners. The King's Arms Pub: 6 pints, 7 shots of Whiskey (total)

Referencing more that two authors

Often the knowledge gained at a pub will be the result of the efforts of several person and much alcohol. Often it is not clear who was actually present at the time and so for referencing this type of information the expression 'the lads' can be used instead of names. An example will be given

In text reference:
I was down the pub last week and the lads (2008) decided that football would solve world hunger because everyone would stop fighting and eat more hot dogs.

End text reference:
The lads (2008) Did you see the match? The Harvester pub: 17 pints (total)

Referencing female authors

Although times are changing, women, though often admired and talked about, can often not be included in conversation in a typical pub and lager environment. They can be included at times through them being in a relationship with one of 'the lads' present. An example of how they are referenced is given below.

In text reference:
Although some present reckoned that America should declare war on all Muslim countries my mate Bob's missus said that that is was a really stupid idea showing both needless cruelty, a lack of understand and respect for different cultures, and an emotional and mental intelligence of an angry wasp

End text reference:
Bob's missus (2008) Bob you're drunk and you're talking crap. The dog and Bear pub: 1 glass of white wine

Secondary referencing

Although often cited as a reliable source, being often revered as the fount of absolute knowledge, the Daily Mail (often referred to as just 'The Mail') is about as reliable as the average drunk person and by being quoted by a drunk person it is often distorted even further; time and effort is saved by merely referencing the drunk. An example is given below.

In text reference:
It must be true that Britain is being destroyed by allowing all these foreign doctors and nurses into the country, i read it in the mail (cited by Mat, 2006)

End text reference:
Mat (2006) I don't trust the lot of them. The Curry House: 5 pints, 3 whiskeys and five bottles of some strange fluorescent blue stuff.

A final note from the author

If you have any suggestions in the furthering of this important cause, please do not hesitate to leave a comment below. It is the sincerest wish of the author that information gained from 'the lads' or from 'my mate bob wot knows this stuff' receives the full attention it is worth. It is left to the reader to decide how much that is.

Mark