Saturday, 24 January 2009

Time monster

Recently I am forced to postulate the existence of a new creature. It is quite a large creature, just a little smaller than your average cow, although it manages to fit into fairly small spaces such as a person's bedroom. It manages to remain quite hidden, but if you could see it, you would see it is quite stocky, like a softer and more flabby hippopotamus, and has a long snout that flares at the end, a bit like an aardvarks snout, but much bigger.

The reason why I'm convinced of its existence is that there is one following me around; I know this because it is using its snout to suck up time, my time. This animal that we are dealing with is in fact a Time Monster (Monasteriense vicis). I do not believe this is an unusual case either, you too may be a victim.

I believe our uni library may be a breading ground for these creatures: you walk in there in search of a few books and several hours get sucked up, leaving you wondering home in the dark, feeling slightly dazed and a little sick with only a handful of books to account for your time. It would seem these animals will follow a person back to their place of residence where they will make themselves quite comfortable in the person's room. It would appear that here they can make night time pass more quickly, meaning you have to sleep for longer and wake up late. They seem technology savvy and can manipulate computers to their advantage, with them being so familiar with the Internet as to make me consider whether part of their existence is in fact a part of cyberspace.

There is though one place were these creature appear not to be able to tread...

A place where time is felt in its entirety...


If only I could train these animals!

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